Truth
by Heather Giesbrecht
Summary: The truth was that love wasn't some miraculous cure. Thomas/Lucille, Thomas/Edith. Complete.


**Truth**

The sound of sobbing that echoed from within Lucille's room seemed to fill Edith's whole perception. Her mind spun, her limbs ached, her ankle trembled and throbbed and she'd started coughing some blood again, but it didn't seem like anything that could compare to that horrid, desolate sound. She wanted to go check, but she didn't because what if...what if it wasn't Thomas ? On the other hand, what if it was Thomas and he needed her help, but she was too scared of its being Lucille to give it ? She didn't know what to do. Nearly she screamed as black moths suddenly settled on her before biting her lip. If she screamed the sound would disturb whoever was still alive and whether it were Thomas or Lucille that did not seem very prudent. So quickly as the moths had appeared did too a snow-white wolf walk toward Lucille's room.

An abundance of coppery blood had filled Amaterasu's nose even as she'd ascended the stairs. It only worsened as she entered the room, mingling with the sour stench of death and bittersweet regret. She stopped beside Lucille and Thomas. He was no longer the little boy she'd first met, just like Kokari so long ago, Thomas had matured into a man. Unlike Kokari it'd taken Thomas many more years, but as he raised his head from Lucille's blood-stained breast with sorrow in his eyes she saw that it'd been just as effective. Gently, she licked his tears away while yet another sob left his throat.

Thomas buried his face in the wolf's chest fur, shaking his head when she whined. How could he have done it ? Lucille was dead, she was dead. Yes, she was planning to kill Edith and'd been about to kill him for falling in love, but it hurt so much. Had wresting the knife from Lucille and stabbing her in the heart been worth it ? No. Yes, no, yes, no, no, yes ? Her lovely face surrounded by the soft waves of raven hair, those brilliant icy blue eyes closed...forever. Whether he'd willingly let her or not ever she'd been his anchor. What was he to do without her ? He didn't have some miraculous plan for what to do now.

Why would he have when near all his life she'd provided almost everything for him ? There'd never been a time when he'd thought an escape plan would be successful. Lucille would've always been able to draw him back in. She couldn't do that now. Edith was here, but she didn't have a home either since the Cushing mansion was long sold. No one in Harding Poole would take them in because of his parents disastrous handling of the clay mines. They had nowhere to go.

Alan could never remember how he and Edith had gotten Thomas to leave Lucille's body or, later on, her graveside. He only remembered that soon as they hit American soil Thomas became miserable. When Mother invited them inside and saw Thomas again she later remarked to himself and Edith in private that, "One might want to keep a close eye on him."

He noticed over the weeks that when Thomas didn't know something about American life he immediately deferred to Edith. Since there were so many things that Thomas didn't know he saw it wearing her down as weeks of, "Edith what do I do ?" or, "Edith was that alright ?" passed.

One night Edith paced the living room in her nightdress, she couldn't sleep. She had never imagined that living with Thomas could be so frustrating. He was still under Lucille's conditioning, still worryingly child-like no matter what she did i.e he always asked her for permission amidst far more worrying things. Another part of Lucille's conditioning meant that whenever Thomas had the slightest sexual impulse he went straight to her. It was incredibly sickening, even more disturbing, and yet it was just as blackly hilarious. Simply because according to Eunice, "By God, Edith what man can't figure out how to pleasure himself ?" Evidently, Thomas.

It all led her own disturbing thought that perhaps it would've been better if Thomas had died instead of Lucille. If it'd been Lucille the woman would've gone visibly mad, but Thomas wasn't like Lucille. No, if Thomas was having mad thoughts or feelings they remained firmly locked behind that awful English mindset of maintaining a stiff upper lip.

Amaterasu was the one who found Thomas blood still flowing from his throat. He'd slit with the same knife that he'd used on Lucille. All she could do was go find the woman Thomas had called Edith and lead her to where his body lay in the back gardens.

Edith felt herself detach as she read the note:

"My dearest Edith,

You were right the day that I killed Lucille, I am a monster. You should know that I was never destined for a happy life. My parents were the most emotionally abusive people that you can imagine and far more still. The only reason that I never died from pneumonia when I was eight years old after my father abandoned me in that blizzard ? It was Lucille. She braved it to find me, brought me home and tended me until I was healthy again. Why I never had scars after he strangled me ? Lucille treated them. You must understand that she was the only one that cared for there...that loved me no matter how twisted it was. I needed her more than anything else whilst I was in boarding school. The murders she did ? I went along with them because I still needed her. You, Edith, when you came it all changed. You weren't like Margaret, Pamela, Enola, you weren't scared of Lucille. Well, least wise, you didn't show it. I wanted so much to feel the same as you in concern to her. It was only because of you that I was able to stand up to her. It's just...the guilt of what I did after all the times that she saved me. Then to come here and find that I...that all that I am is a burden to you, it's humiliating that I can hardly do a bloody thing for myself. I love you, Edith, but I'm an incestuous monster and you deserve far better than me and someday I know that you will find him. He's going to love you, understand you, in all the ways that I never could fathom. He is going to deserve to know your love. Even though I will never meet them I know that if you should have children that they will be utterly beautiful. How could they not be when you are without doubt the most beautiful woman that I ever saw ?

I'm so sorry,

Thomas."

The tears flowed as she watched Alan rush to her side, watched him check Thomas for a pulse. She knew he was dead. The strange wolf gave a beautiful howl as his ghostly form evaporated into the softly swirling snow and the heavens above. A sad smile crossed her lips she would move on, eventually.


End file.
